Anonymous (via helpfvl)
I never fully understood why it was you can’t look past it, but I think I’m beginning to get a taste of my own medicine. You fucking hypocrite.
How can this just happen? I just can’t deal. Why do bad things happen to such good people.
I’m furious. I’m more mad then I am upset. I guess it’s the fact that I’ve put in so much time and effort trying to prove to you that I could be worthy of your love once again. You have the audacity to say that everything I said and everything I felt wasn’t genuine? I’ve been missing you since the day we broke up. I’ve made mistakes when we broke up, choices Im not really proud of, but we all make our mistakes. I never judged you for the mistakes you made. I never stopped loving you. We were supposed to get through all the tough times. Were supposed to get that happy ending. I busted my ass trying to show you that you were my number one. Ever since day one. But you don’t fucking care. You say you do, but then why do you treat me the way you do? I’m still here for you. I’m so broken..
This entire break I’ve tried to forget and avoid anything that can potentially remind me of him. This week I’ve been okay, I’ve been really good at avoiding the thought of him. This entire week I’ve been home or with my parents or with my friends which helped a lot. The real reason I’m dreading about tomorrow isn’t only school but who I see at school. Having to see you, it’ll just hit me. There’s no way I can avoid the thought of you there. Ugh. This entire week I didn’t check up on you and I finally did today… I’m screwed.
It’s like nothing even mattered. The fact that you are already moving on, you’re finding someone new, you found someone new.. You just said those things to me two weeks ago. Saying that I was the fucking one. Saying that I was the fucking love of your life. I can’t believe I’m fucking losing you again. I’m so fucking depressed, I thought I was finally past this, I thought I was finding that happiness I thought was long gone.
It was always supposed to be me and you. And now I’m fucking back here, I’m here without you A-FUCKING-GAIN. Francis and Nicole, my fucking serendipity. And now what? Fuck everything. Fuck everyone that gets in the way of people being happy. Fuck everything.